Video diary, day forty four.

I've never properly expressed my intense love of my pillow pet, Draco. He's named for Draco Malfoy, naturally, but I chose his name because I adore A Very Potter Musical, Starkid and Lauren Lopez's portrayal of his character. Draco has been to Disney World, he and I beat pneumonia together and now he's come to college with me. I'm majoring in English and he's majoring in Hematology... the study of blood.

Anyway, I stayed up until like four in the morning and somehow managed to drag myself to my nine a.m. class without passing out. It surprised me too, as I've already managed to sleep through two classes this semester. My Ravenclaw heart almost couldn't take the shame. Which is why I invested my mother's money in a coffee mug the size of a soup bowl. So far it's doing wonders.

During Honor's Forum (read: during study hall), I wrote three or four good pages of stuff for Part Two of the second book. It's unf worthy. If you don't know what that means, just know that it's gonna be really exciting.

Last night when I was in the shower trying not to have a panic attack I decided that my ultimate goal is to create something that the people of Tumblr will like. Because if Tumblr likes something, Tumblr really likes something and they won't stop until everyone and their dog knows about it. It seems that the way to get something done is to get Tumblr as involved as possible, and to get them to tell all their friends. It could happen.

Also last night, I emailed four agents. I mentioned this in the video, but I don't think I'll ever be able to accurately describe the intense feelings of anxiety and elation when I sent off the first one. Then after that it was like I couldn't be stopped, and I was dancing around the room. By then it was three a.m. and I couldn't fall asleep because I was too excited and eventually I just passed out or something.

Okay, tonight's episode of American Horror Story literally had me screaming and I wanted to sob my eyes out because DAT PREVIEW. I don't know if I can handle it emotionally and physically. Hahhhh.

Listen to these delicious songs:
Ambulance - Eisley
Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met) - Panic! at the Disco
Human - Civil Twilight
The Cave - Mumford & Sons
Heavy in Your Arms - Florence + the Machine

The largest underwear you can purchase at Target is plus size 13... I didn't know what I expected, but I was pleased.

Video diary, day forty three.

Today, for whatever reason, I decided it would be a great idea to drink enough coffee to kill a newborn baby and I transformed into this incredibly productive little demon. Which is excellent news because I now have a completed and polished query letter, which I am going to send off to four agents as soon as I finish this blog post. And I didn't even have one panic attack.

Every ounce of nervousness I had earlier today has been replaced with excitement. I'll probably return to a horribly anxious state once it comes time to wait for the responses, but right now I'm just chipper.

Will I cry and scream and roll around on my floor a la Lauren Lopez in A Very Potter Musical if I get a request for a full or even a partial? Absolutely. And you can bet that I will blog about it.

Listen to these songs to prevent the Titan war:
Ablaze - Armchair Cynics
No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
There, There Katie - Jack's Mannequin
Salt Skin - Ellie Goulding
Tell 'Em - Sleigh Bells

It took a lot of hard work to find a picture of me that was decent, but in celebration of productivity... my face.

Video diary, days thirty six through forty two.

Yes, this is the longest I've gone without updating, but there was very little to share besides, "Oh, I read twelve websites about post-traumatic stress disorder and hypothermia today, and then I passed out because of a food coma." I am very sorry, though.

Luckily, I did get a lot of really good work done. Buttloads of research, I discovered some quality music, purchased a dress for formal, and wrote about ten pages. Get excited!! Book two is well underway and I think it's gonna blow some minds. If I could just get something done to The Decoder, though. UGH.

I feel really bad about not updating, so have some good music:

For Everything a Reason - Carina Round
Bang - Armchair Cynics
Signal Fire - Snow Patrol
Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine
The Broken Ones - Dia Frampton
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
Starlight - Muse

My Freshman year of high school, I got locked in a varsity locker. Those are my hands.

Video diary, day thirty five.

Happy Monday. Or not really. The normally short walk to my English class turned into a great race, and I ended up getting soaked by the rain. I was not happy. At all. Then my nap in between class and food was interrupted by Kelsey screaming "SHAKE ME ALLLLL NIGHT LOOOONG!", and then Art class was horribly boring. But then I went and hung out with my family for a little while, and I drank coffee and ate soup and now I feel a lot better. And ready to knock out chapter seven and my French homework before I go to sleep tonight.

Speaking of which, I have made quite a bit of progress. I wish that this was fanfiction and I could update by chapter, because it's stressing me out, keeping this story to myself. UGH. Someone just get me a publisher.

I'm writing to agents over the break, which honestly makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry on the bathroom floor. Even before it's been cleaned. I'll probably write the letter, exercise for an hour, shower, poop, cry and then stare at the send button for an hour before pressing send. Then I'll repeat the process until I've emailed them all. Yes. This is going to be a very interesting week.

Can't wait for the awkward family photos that this holiday will inevitably cause. And there will definitely be an abundance.

Video diary, days thirty three and thirty four.

Busy, busy, busy, busy, tired. That's been my weekend. Really my week, but whatever.

Luckily, my time wasting activities yesterday actually led to something incredibly good. American Horror Story not only scared my pants off and made me fall in love with Evan Peters, but took a plunger to my writer's block. An explosion of clarity came to me, and I just had to take a shower. I will conquer book two before The Decoder hits shelves.

I had a dream about my psychology class from high school and then I watched tonight episode of Misfits, and I had another moment of clarity. So I put a sock bun in my hair. It's strange how easy it is to miss something that ought to be incredibly obvious, especially when it's jumping up and down right in front of you, screaming and spanking itself. I only wish I still had my notes from that class... maybe Kelsey has hers.

I was surprisingly on top of what I wanted to talk about with this video, so there isn't a lot of editing. This upcoming week is super intense what with it being Thanksgiving. And I am thankful that the break will give me three or four nights of uninterrupted time to write without worrying about dragging myself to class the next morning. For the next seven days it's all about writing, preparing for Delta Gamma formal and planning Christmas parties. And eating pumpkin pie, of course.

Listen to this:
This Women's Work - Greg Laswell

Some people look really cute when they laugh. I don't even have to really try, I'm just fabulous.

Video diary, days thirty one and thirty two.

Even though I only have one class on both Thursday and Friday, those always seem to be the busiest days for me. Between laundry, homework, tailgates, Harry Potter Club events and keeping up with my hygiene, I barely found time to sleep. I wasn't stressing, it takes a lot to stress me out, but I've been really tired.

I've hit an unfortunate roadblock in writing chapter seven of book two -- I am not a clinical psychologist. I wrote one draft of the chapter, just to put down the bulk of what I wanted it to say, but I know it's all wrong and ugh. This is a very important chapter, and I don't want to get the facts wrong. Up until now I've been creating all the "facts" on my own, but this is something I really want to do justice to. Blah.

Today we had to review our English class, and I said that it wasn't hard enough, because my papers rarely had any corrects and that is not okay. I like criticism and finding out what I can do to better my writing. My professor said that it was because my writing is consistently good, and I was all, "Oh okay well I guess that's alright...". But still. I want to have to work hard for my English classes.

Listen to this:
Only If For a Night - Florence + the Machine

This weekend is dedicated to eating, sleeping, researching methods of psychological therapy in response to childhood trauma, learning as little as I can about anatomy so I can write but not become a doctor, "studying" my French so I don't fail, and eating. There will be updates and pizza.

I wish having pneumonia was an excuse for the amount of derp in the picture... They tell me that it isn't.

Video diary, day thirty.

Oh, shortest video ever.

I have been working on Book Two everyday, but I can't talk about it because of spoilers. Huge, gargantuan, totally life-altering spoilers. Maybe after The Decoder is out I can reveal little things, like one at a time, but as of right now it's all under lock and key. Serious business.

Speaking of keys, I'm considering two options for my living situation next year: living in the DG house or getting an apartment with Kelsey and some of our friends. Either way would be quality. I just don't like living in the dorms all that much. I know, right. First world problems.

It's 1:45 in the morning and I'm doing laundry and bitching about my emotions. I'm incredibly domestic at this time of night. And creative. I don't feel like going to sleep because of reasons and I don't want to go to French in nine hours but I also don't want to fail, so...

I'm like obsessed with writing these couple of chapters. Basically part one of the second book is legit as boon. Every single time I sit down to take notes I come out with three or four pages of new stuff to work with. It's awesome, but I definitely don't want to lose this explosion of inspiration, or whatever it is.

Every now and again, I like to imagine what it'd be like to be un-photogenic.

Video diary, day twenty nine.

Ugh, what an insane day. I woke up early to register for classes only to find out there was a hold on my account. Which meant that I couldn't register, see my grades or do anything that I woke up specifically to do. This led to a very angry slew of texts sent to my mother about how my tuition had to be paid or I was going to get stuck with Calculus and lose my scholarship. Luckily everything is taken care of now, and I'm going to ace Weather and Climate next semester.

This video was so all over the place. It started out okay then turned into a ten minute long ramble about how much I love Percy Jackson and Rick Riordan being my hero and everything. So then I tried again and I ended talking about how I don't understand or like politics for about seven minutes straight. Luckily, I got five or so minutes of relevant material out of it, so I don't have to start again.

I'd like to elaborate on the marriage thing:
Because the world is so small now, one of the duties of the citizens is to help rebuild. They can do this by assisting the scientific progress, providing for those who do the mind work, or by repopulating. Most everyone gets married, so that those in Maelhaven will be able to carry out that duty should they ever retire and move to a Sector. Plus, no one really wants to be alone.
In a previous video, I've mentioned that families don't really live in Maelhaven. It's up to those who live in the Sectors to help with the reproduction part of rebuilding the world. There is a lot more I could say on that, but I'm going to keep quiet. It will be explained as needed.

As for the scientific experiments thing, I could write another whole book on the morals of using human lab rats, but I'll spare you my opinions. It's something I like to think about a lot (I'm a weirdo), and it'll definitely be a recurring theme in the books. Start up the lightening, we're building a Monster.

Yes, book two is coming along quite swimmingly. It's my favorite book in the series. Even chapters three and four are beginning to take form.

If everyone could do the world a huge favor and sign this petition to stop a bill that would censor American internet, it would just be amazing.
http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-the-internet-control-bill-now

I am the queen of Christmas cookies.

Video diary, day twenty eight.

Happy Monday!! And may the odds be ever in your favor.

I'm not going to lie, I freaked out this morning when the full-length trailer aired. I left class and watched it on my phone. It was great.

I've been working quite a lot on book two (which still doesn't have an solid working title, ugh), most of which is top secret. However, there are a few funny things, one of which I was able to share without spoiling anything. The characters are growing, and I love them quite a bit.

Today I made a Twitter because Kelsey threatened to make one for me. So here: keep up with my life.
I actually like it quite a bit, because now I don't have to go out of my way to get info on celebs and the Starkids. In the end it'll probably be a good thing, but whatever. I gave in.

Listen to this:
Summer Clothes by Meg & Dia

The sad truth is that I just wish Sylvia Plath could have given me lessons on how to be fabulous but nope.

Non-video diary, day twenty seven.

What I've done with the books today is top super secret because of reasons, so for my "diary" today, I'm posting a play list and random excerpt. You'll get a healthy dose my face and voice tomorrow. 

Oh, and today we got initiated! SCREAM WITH ME! AHHHH! If you're about to head off to college this next year, you should definitely consider going Greek. I didn't think it was for me, but it is, without a doubt, one of the best decisions I could have possibly made.

The Decoder playlist

1. Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
2. White Houses - Vanessa Carlton
3. Sleeping Sickness - City and Colour
4. Get It Right - Lydia
5. Perfect Disguise - Modest Mouse
6. Fighting for Nothing - Meg & Dia
7. Thistle and Weeds - Mumford & Sons
8. Guns and Horses - Ellie Goulding
9. More Than This - Vanessa Carlton
10. Separate - Meg & Dia
11. No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine
12. First Breath After Coma - Explosions in the Sky

(For anyone who is curios, Meg & Dia has been my favorite band since I was thirteen. And I cannot wait to see what incredible stuff Dia does -- I was so excited to see her on The Voice -- and anything Meg sets out to do it will undoubtedly be fabulous. They will always be my favorites.)

Excerpt(s):

Video diary, day twenty six.

Due to it being initiation weekend, I have legitimately no time to write, so instead of talking about how I haven't written anything I'm telling interesting stories about my life. All of the incidents in the video have taken place in the last forty eight hours. And today I was told that I should host a talk show.

My life isn't always this interesting, I swear. College just happens to you okay. And I'm addicted to Diet Coke. No regrets just cancer.

Tomorrow we're supposed to chase a goat at eight thirty in the morning. Do you think I know how to chase goats? Do I look like I was raised in Raleigh? Just because I grew up in Texas doesn't mean I know how to wrangle animals, okay. Nor does it mean that I enjoy being told what color underwear to wear.

I know that we aren't really chasing a goat. But there will most likely be singing.

If you lick a person's elbow and they aren't aware of you pressing your tongue against their skin, they aren't going to feel it. I tested this theory on freshmen.

Video diary, day twenty five.

This video is a little weird. I start out all happy, chatting about the second book, then I sort of go on a rant about how stupid the concept of Utopia even is. This is what consumes my Friday evenings.

Listen to this or I'm never posting again:
The Girl by City and Colour

Lately I have been considering a Twitter. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to get addicted to another social networking site, but since I will eventually delete my personal Tumblr... it's on hold for now, though. At least until Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I am beyond excited!! I love the holiday season. I love sweaters and socks and fuzzy pajama pants and coffee through the bloodstream. I like going to my great grandmas house to eat a turkey because everyone gets together and we eat like kings and my grandma (not great grandma. my family lives forever) and grandpa bring trash bags full of presents and I jump on my mom and dad's bed telling them that they have to wake up or I'm gonna pee. I'm a little kid at heart. Which is in no way related to my compulsive viewing of Peter Pan.

As for writing, I am, for whatever reason, skipping over chapters two, three and four and writing from chapter five. Which was completed as of yesterday. Chapter six is about 5/8 done, but I don't know if I'll be writing chapter seven immediately after. Chapter sixteen is already in production, as is eighteen, but the others I haven't touched.

Want some advice? Don't write like I do.

If you ever need lessons on making college age girls cry, take them from Rick Riordan and the writers of Criminal Minds. I can't take all of these emotions. They make my veins feel weird.

Do you understand the power and prowess of owling?

Video diary, day twenty four.

This has been a very, very sleepy day, and I still have homework I need to do... Ugh.

In this video I'm talking about the mind-numbing graphics work I did today for the series. It's utilized in the second book but it's relevant throughout everything. It took about three hours and I gave myself a migraine. And once again, I am so glad I didn't major in graphic design.

The second book is coming together so well I'm starting to get suspicious that my computer is about to crash or my series binder is going to get run over by a car. I'm seriously worried; does it always happen like this? Am I now a "real" writer, since I'm not banging my head on the wall, trying to figure out how to make two scenes connect?

Nikki is maturing? Real, or not real?

Sometimes when I'm alone in the bathroom I listen to All Time Low and wish I could pee in the shower without feeling guilty.

Okay so there are a ton of movies I'm beyond excited to see. You're getting a list regardless of whether or not you want it.

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower
• Snow White and the Huntsman
• The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
• The Hunger Games
• My Week With Marilyn
• Basically about half the movies Tumblr is currently pooping itself over

Uhm. For my seventeenth birthday we threw paint on each other and then jumped in a pool.

To see the graphic I made a little while ago:

Video diary, day twenty three.

Hello, lovely people! Today I am showing off my Series Binder in all its derpy glory. It's filled with everything I could find on The Decoder and the sequential books. I put it together before I moved into the dorms, and it has grown spectacularly as the semester has gone on, particularly as I've written more on the second book. It's coming together quite nicely, by the way. Rick Riordan doesn't know it, but he's the best teacher I've ever had. ... There's a reason I'm a Ravenclaw, okay. I'm a total dork when it comes to books. I'm not so sure I could be a daughter of Athena, but I like to believe she hasn't claimed me for my own protection.

Also, I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack, so I'm pretty pumped up for whatever's going down tonight.

The second book has been surprisingly easy to write. Maybe it's because I know exactly where I'm going with it, or because I know the characters so much better than I did when I first started out -- I'm really not sure.  I look forward to writing more about it every single day. I suppose that's a very good thing. I'm even more in love with book two than book one. Agh, I'm so weird.

Over the course of the past year, I've become remarkably more organized when it comes to characters, plot outlines and details. It's like I'm suddenly taking my writing seriously, and I've never taken anything too seriously before. It's kind of a great feeling, to have something I know I can do, and will always make me happy. It's just really nice.

Look at this Delta Gamma stuff. Look at it and absorb the beauty.

We dressed up as nerds for a football game and it was fabulous.

Video diary, day twenty two.

I like Tuesdays because it's almost Wednesday and that means the week is halfway over.

Today I talk about actually working on Book One, some excellent slang I (with the help of Kelsey) made up, nicknames, and book covers. Also how much I love Burdge. Leave me alone.

I have so many ideas pouring out of my head I don't all of them are going to be able to fit cleanly into the first book, which is both disappointing and exciting, because it gives me plenty of material for the later books but still. Sad days. I can't overload the books with info, though. They're already pretty heavy with backstory and such.

In other news, I'm seeing lots of new pictures from The Hunger Games movie, and I'm sort of freaking out a little bit. I can't wait for the movie; you have no idea. I love the series, though Mockingjay did hit the wall of my classrooms a couple of times. ... I read it during school, what of it?

As promised, pictures of my dream cast:

Tammie looks like Hannah Murray:

  

Mark looks like Hunter Parrish:
  

I still haven't found the perfect Emily yet, but she looks something like Nina Dobrev mixed with Jennifer Lawrence... with crazy curly hair, like Emmy Rossum in Phantom of the Opera. Just bear with me, and keep in mind that Emily's hair is black, her skin is several shades darker and her eyes are blue:
  


Rob is some kind of holy almighty Robert Sheehan, glasses and a more Hispanic complexion. Like really, oh my goodness:
  

As of yet, I have no particular person for Tori, but I know exactly what she looks like in my head, and I've come across some pictures on Tumblr, which led me to a Russian gallery of pictures of a model, who I believe is named Sonia (Tori's eyes are green, though.):
  

Now that we've looked at all these pictures of pretty people, feel free to soak up this picture of myself and Kelsey from a party that took place in our sophomore year of high school. Things got a little wild.

Video diary, day twenty one.

Ello and pip pip cheery Monday.

Today I did some quality writing and listened to some quality music. I also took a quality nap and cried over this picture of Kelsey and Alex Gaskarth.

The real question is how could I not base a character off a person like this?!

In the video I'm talking about the things I wrote today (two legit pages of acceptable, can I get a whoop whoop?), as well as the relationships between some of the characters in the books. Well, I should clarify; the friendships between the characters. The platonic relationships are primarily based off of the bond I have with Kelsey and Marley, the romantic relationships are sort of being made up as I go along, because I don't know how to human contact.

I also rant about the odd way female names work, and then list a couple... but I have a longer list of quality names that Rick Riordan employs, which I could not recall in the video. So: Annabeth, Rachel, Clarisse, Piper, Hazel, Drew, Gwen, etc. I enjoy those names, and I am now upset with Rick for taking them. As always, I am outdone by Rick Riordan. I will beat you someday, sir.

As for updates on my publishing/writing life, I am pleased to say that I got another (shut up) pretty new notebook. I am unhappy to say that my mom has it and I don't currently possess it. Hopefully that will be fixed soon because it is beautiful and I wish I could live in it.

Marley's character is coming later, in the third book. However, enjoy these pictures of me, her and Kelsey from over the years. What are normal pictures? I've never heard of such a thing.

Writing Playlist

As promised.

I have weird music tastes.

1. Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine
2. Help, I'm Alive - Metric
3. Stay Awake - All Time Low
4. You Are the Moon - The Hush Sound
5. Fall On Me (Acoustic) - Paradise Fears
6. Fighting For Nothing - Meg & Dia
7. Thistle and Weeds - Mumford & Sons
8. What the Water Gave Me - Florence + the Machine
9. Don't You Want to Share the Guilt - Kate Nash
10. Guts - All Time Low
11. Renegade - Paramore
12. Kids - Sleigh Bells
13. Heaven or Hell - The Morning Of
14. Breathe Me - Sia
15. Asleep (The Smiths cover) - Emily Browning

Video diary, day twenty.

Hello, everyone! I look like poop in the video but it's okay because it's my face and I can do what I want with it.

Another all-over-the-place video. I'm not sorry, I just have a great deal to say about many random things. This weekend was beyond busy (but it was amazing), and my writing juice has been building up so I'm going to have to write a lot this week or I might explode. AGHAHGIUH.

As I said in the video, I will be making a Writing Playlist, and it will be delicious. And it will most likely include All Time Low because I just can't get over how awesome that concert was. I wish I could live in it. Also, Alex Gaskarth gave me a hug and it was nice. I don't care how many time I've said it before, because he gave me a hug and I almost pooped my pants. Imagine if my obsession was still raging. I probably would have fainted and that would be the third time I fainted in public. I need to stop embarrassing myself. And fainting.

I can't even handle how much I love my own series. Is that acceptable? To be the biggest fan of something I've done? It has to be; I have to love what I've made otherwise I won't want to do it anymore. It'll probably be obnoxious, how much I love it. Someone stop me. I want this to be published so bad so other people will understand what I'm talking about and tell me if it's good or bad.

I need to clean the coffee pot.

I'm just really, really bad at taking pictures.

Video diary, day nineteen.

I would apologize for not uploading this last night but I'm not sorry and lying is a sin.

I'd like to take this time to say that All Time Low was AMAZING, I started crying during Remembering Sunday and Stay Awake. The entire crowd sang Weightless, by ourselves, instead of calling for an encore like normal people. It was like seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part Two again. Gross, ugly sobbing occurred. No regrets, just an acoustic cover of Teenage Dream.

Due to all the excitement, I have not worked very much on the writing part of my life, but now that it's Sunday I'll be doing some of that. After meeting. My life is just so exciting sometimes I want to scream.

http://www.rachellegardner.com/2011/08/how-to-write-a-query-letter/

Enjoy this picture of me. I'm wearing a Pike shirt; that's who my Big and I coached for Anchor Splash. Our skit was amazing and anyone who disagrees probably smells bad.

Video diary, day eighteen.

This was a very busy Friday, and I wish I could say it was because I was working so very hard on the draft. Unfortunately, I was at class and work all day, then I had to take this gross test on my knowledge on alcohol and hazing policies... really exciting stuff. And I was up all night because Kelsey partially convinced me that our dorm room is haunted. So.

I am talking a little about the second book, as well as the woes of writing. This video is all over the place, probably a product of my extremely scattered thoughts at the moment. My head hurts like you have no idea.

Listen to this or I hate you forever:
Undercovers On by Rival Schools

Today I recorded a video of myself while I was driving, because I drank a grande mocha and I had no one to talk to. So during my rambling, I gathered some gems like, "I wish I was made of pizza.", "Things you should not do: record yourself while driving.", "All I want in life is to eat and to write. And marry Logan Lerman but that comes later in the plan -- OH MY GOD JAYWALKER!"

This is how we brought in 2011:

Video diary, day seventeen.

Hello! Today was a very productive day, as I discovered the name of my country has already been used. There was a great deal of unhappiness. But Tyler helped me come up with a new name, as well as some quality book covers. Check them out:

You can tell we got a little over-excited near the end.

But, yes, today was exceptionally productive! And I'm very pleased with how everything is coming so far. I can't wait to actually discuss this with professionals, and see what they think. Hopefully they'll like it, too.

Tammie's Playlist

I said I was obsessed. I don't think you understand that I wasn't joking.

This is a playlist for Tammie. It's still a work in progress, and I'm constantly adding to it. It doesn't completely apply to Book One Tammie, but almost all of the songs on this list do, because that's the Tammie I'm most familiar with at the moment. That sounds really weird. Anyway.

1. Renegade - Paramore
I'm a renegade,
I always was.
I'm a renegade, 
it's in my blood.


2. Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby) - Jack's Mannequin
Give me something to believe in
a breath from the breathing.
So write it down,
I don't think I'll close my eyes
(...) It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide.


3. Rill Rill - Sleigh Bells
We never blink, see
And you can see me
We fell asleep in the middle of the fury


4. Monster - Paramore
I'm only human, I've got a skeleton in me 
But I'm not the villain, despite what you're always preaching.
Call me a traitor, I'm just collecting your victims
And they're getting stronger
I hear them calling.



5. Machine - Regina Spektor
And I'm downloaded daily
I am part of a composite
Hooked into machine



6. The Cave - Mumford & Sons
But I will hold on hope
and I won't let you choke
On the noose that's around your neck.
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again


7. Guts - All Time Low
Bold enough to fall flat on my face
But I walk as they crawl
Slowing down is such a waste
(...) To be my own solution


8. This Love - Ellie Goulding
Oh, I don't like the way I never listen to myself.
I feel like I'm on fire and I'm too shy to cry for help.


9. Reverie - The Morning Of
Another day and I can't face your blue eyes
We're falling apart
And I'm scared to death
You were much worse for the wear and I...
am taking the blame for this.


10. Hero - Regina Spektor
I'm the hero of this story
Don't need to be saved
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
No one's got it all.

Video diary, day sixteen.

Happy Wednesday! Which is actually a very exciting day because a new episode of Criminal Minds comes on tonight, and that's one of my favorite shows.

Today I'm talking about another character, Augustus. His role is something I can't even fully begin to put into words, and definitely not without spoiling the entire second book. Just know that Augustus is tall, orange and a serious problem for Tammie. Not the biggest, but he's definitely an issue. Something I'd categorize as a "cause for concern". Yes.

Today I went back and edited just a little bit of the first few chapters, because I can do that without wanting to rip my hair out. Anyway, I found this tiny little part that made me laugh. It's nothing major or plot-revealing, just something that sort of shows off the characters and all that.

Before reading on, enjoy this picture of me.